Ok, this is pretty hilarious. I really hope this works out.
"While we do not have a traditional “philosophy” of “childbirth,” we have been heavily influenced by orthodox Wholefoodism and the “(d)well baby/good design” movement. We believe strongly in the power of the female body and a long-term night nurse. We are opposed to torture/gluten. In the event you are ever unsure how to proceed today, please ask yourself, “What Would Gwyneth Do?”"
"One can’t go to pieces at the death of every foreigner. We’d all be in a constant state of collapse whenever we opened a newspaper."
- Dowager Countess life lesson #37